Says the Internet: Do a lot.

Again, I was reading this article (a while ago now) that a friend had been circulating on facebook, advising us creatives to take a look.  The article has some good advice or "survival hints for young creative weirdos."

One of the author's hint made me pause and reflect as again I was made aware of my attitude towards creativity and productivity, and that attitude was challenged:

"Do a lot. This may seem like strange advice, but I mean it — do a lot. Write a lot, paint a lot, shoot a lot of film, take a lot of pictures, dance a lot, sing a lot, whatever the thing you do is, do it a lot. You have to get limber and skilled, so that when you have an idea, you can manipulate it and do the work part of the work. The idea is sort of the balloon in a balloon animal; you have to have it, and it has to be strong, or else there's nothing. But you'll be distinguished more by your handling of it than by the thing itself, and the best way to do that is to do the thing you do a lot."

Growing up with parents that had expectations of excellence in everything their children did, but also a potent, unspoken hierarchy for the which areas of interest took precedence, I always struggled with deciding what exactly to pursue.  As a person naturally interested in a lot of things, I was (and still am) frequently immobilized when faced with the choice of what interest or passion to explore.

The pressure to invest either all or nothing into a select few (productive) interests or activities may have indeed shut down a lot of my creative impulses.  If I wasn't able to or sure I wanted to commit 110% to something, well then, I'd better not bother with it at all (because I clearly wasn't interested enough) and rather focus more on something useful like learning algebra or operating a power drill. (Not that those thing are not important or useful.)  Combined with my natural shyness, I think this pressure drove me to just categorically refuse to engage with things (like dance, art, photography, economics) that peaked my interest but were never given a chance to fully flesh out or dwindle away.

Photogsnazzy: summertime sun

Summer is almost over.  I tried to capture some of that sunshine around the house.

Says the Internet: on being "the best" or not mattering

Several weeks ago I read this article on 10 Things Most Americans Don't Know About America.  It was interesting.  I don't necessarily agree/disagree/believe/don't believe everything he says, but it is always good to hear different perspectives on things.  On the whole, most of it didn't really surprise me, but his #8 thing really rather floored me.

"8. WE’RE STATUS-OBSESSED AND SEEK ATTENTION

I’ve noticed that the way we Americans communicate is usually designed to create a lot of attention and hype. Again, I think this is a product of our consumer culture: the belief that something isn’t worthwhile or important unless it’s perceived to be the best (BEST EVER!!!) or unless it gets a lot of attention (see: every reality-television show ever made).
This is why Americans have a peculiar habit of thinking everything is “totally awesome,” and even the most mundane activities were “the best thing ever!” It’s the unconscious drive we share for importance and significance, this unmentioned belief, socially beaten into us since birth that if we’re not the best at something, then we don’t matter.
We’re status-obsessed. Our culture is built around achievement, production and being exceptional. Therefore comparing ourselves and attempting to out-do one another has infiltrated our social relationships as well. Who can slam the most beers first? Who can get reservations at the best restaurant? Who knows the promoter to the club? Who dated a girl on the cheerleading squad? Socializing becomes objectified and turned into a competition. And if you’re not winning, the implication is that you are not important and no one will like you."

(Although I rather love hyperbolic expression, so I'm not 100% with him on that), I was just knocked over by how well he summarizes American society's (in my experience, at least) "obsession" with being the best.  Manson defines it as "the belief that something isn't worthwhile . . . unless it's perceived to be the best or unless it gets a lot of attention."  He goes on to elaborate: "It's the unconscious drive we share for importance and significance, this belief . . . that if we're not the best at something, then we don't matter."

This just strikes home with me so much!  This idea that I essentially don't matter because I'm not the best or even that exceptional at anything really feels so true to me.  For me, it is one of those beliefs you don't even realize you hold fundamentally true until someone really carefully points it out to you--- it really has be "beaten into me".  Reading this article was really a "whoa!" moment for me as I realized that this idea is just that: an idea--- and a belief that can be changed and that other people don't necessarily hold.

Music this week: MONKEES and others who are likely to be British

Turns out I DID get to go see the Monkees!

My parents got me tickets for my birthday and we went to see them in Philadelphia at the great Mann Center.  I was a great show and I really enjoyed myself, although my mom did immediate ask upon the start of the show "Is it going to be this loud the whole time?"  And I was super pleased that they did "What Am I Doing Hanging 'Round" and got "Pleasant Valley Sunday" in during the encore!

But in honor of the Monkees, and one of the songs they did live that made me like it a lot more than I used to, the first song I've been listening to a lot these past few weeks is

1.  Steppin Stone - The Monkees


Cuz I'm not your steppin stone!

2. Along Together - Fall Out Boy


I've never listened to them before, but I got a little in the new Fall Out Boy album.  This song is definitely my favorite (even if some of the lyrics are a tiny bit weak . . . they are not nearly as weak as some of the other songs).

3. Boyfriend - Marina and the Diamonds


My little sister turned me onto this song and it amazes me.  I had to go back to watch the Bieber version and it is basically unrecognizable.  This version is so much better!  Marina is great.

4.  Black Flies - Ben Howard


I had the great great privilege of getting to see Ben Howard yesterday perform in Central Park.  It was a night of beautiful music.  Probably the best concert I've been to (excepting F+tM of course).  Black Flies was a song he just completely rocked out in a transcendent way, so here he is performing it live at the Isle of Wight.

5. The Girl Who Got Away - Dido

I was randomly listening to this while running and it was so relaxing but had a great beat.  I felt one with the world.

Financial Investment Year?

This year has unfortunately been the year when I've needed to replace a lot of stuff . . . the kind of stuff you know that you will eventually need to another one of or grow out of or will wear out . . . but it's been a bit rough on the ole wallet.

So far I've had to get new:
- tires
- professional pants (don't fit in/worn out the old ones)
- gym pants & shorts
- sneakers
- glasses (really really need to get new glasses.  Can't squeak by on my prescription from 1999 anymore)
- sports bras
- regular bras
- jeans, probably (I might be able to make it another year)
- printer (Well it won't print on photo paper! whyyyy? I don't want to buy a photo printer but I want to print my photos!)
- actively praying that I don't have to replace my computer.
- hopefully: job and housing situation (ah! scary stuff!)

Now I pretty much haven't replaced a lot of these things in a looooong time, so getting this new stuff is basically an 'investment' that I'm ok making, but I just wasn't expecting to have to make this many 'investments' all at once!

My most recent investment was getting some new bras at Nordstrom (Anniversary Sale! woo!).  My old bras are really in terrible shape and cause me all sorts of problems, so this was a good thing.  I also got the sales attendant to measure me and help me pick the right size, so it is great to get stuff that fits!

But the inevitable problem is that my new bras are so new and pretty I don't want to wear them!

Progress Report: July

So I'm down to the final month before my birthday (less than a month!) and it is time to take a look at what I have and haven't achieved.

I'm a little disappointed that there are so many things that I did not achieve or did not achieve fully.  But at the same time I am really pleased that I DID accomplish a lot of these things.  I think I learned a lot about how I need to improve my habits and attitude to better accomplish things and to work towards goals consistently.  I realized that it was a lot easier to accomplish goals that were more specific, and that some of these things take a lot of time.  Hopefully I can take this into consideration when making my goals for next year.

But here is where I am so far with my goals:

1.  Learn some sewing.

Have not done this.  I got very intimidated by it.  I think I needed to set a more specific goal like make a pillow or learn to hem dresses.

2.  Get a better job

Have not done this.  This was a roller coaster for me.  I went from wanting to leave my job, to feeling better about it and more interested in staying another year, to being really disenchanted and now wanting to leave even more.  I am currently taking this much more seriously.

3.  Move out

This goes with 2, and again was a roller coaster issue.  People went from being really unsupportive of me moving to now being more supportive.  But again this is a step I would ideally want to take in conjunction with or after accomplishing Goal 2.

4.  Actually write something.

I am really disappointed that I have not done this yet. I may still try to write a short screenplay.  I have had a lot of great ideas but for really large projects.  I still feel like I need to get myself to accomplish something small before I get too invested in doing something big, even if it is just a big story outline.

5.  Learn to iron.

ACCOMPLISHED!!!

6.  Go to California for vacation.

ACCOMPLISHED!!!