Rant: Clothing 'compliments'

This many sound self-indulgent and whiny but I've been in a bit of a conundrum.

While I don't consider myself a fashion adventurer or even a trend-setter by any means, I guess I do dress a little unconventionally.  What I really enjoy doing the most with clothes is celebrating beautiful colors, textures and patterns and seeing which complement each other, and taking conventional rules of dress and seeing how much one can play with them without really transgressing those boundaries.  For example, gotta wear a collared shirt, because that is what is "professional"?  How can I satisfy that requirement but do it in fun way that adds more color and life to my experience and feels right?

So whatever, I end up dressing a bit "unconventionally," but without being too crazy or subversive (as much as I'd really love to), in my opinion.

As a result, I frequently get comments on my outfits, and sometimes my make-up.  It is usually a simple, 'I like your outfit." or "Your top is really pretty."  or "Those shoes are cool, where did you get them?"  Pretty standard fare, polite and small-talky, and easy to respond to.  Although recently a clerk in the grocery store decided it was normal to scream at me from several aisles away: "MISS I LOVE YOUR LIPSTICK!!!!!!! IT IS REALLY PRETTY."  That was a bit disconcerting for me as well as all the other customers who then proceeded to stare at me.


But I also get these other comments that come in the form of these awkward factual statements like, "You are wearing blue around your eyes." or "You have a bow in your hair."

This brand of attention to my outfits DRIVES ME UP THE WALL!!!!!!  After a few of these in one week, I want to throttle the next fool who says something like that to me.

My frustration is this: WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT?  How am I meant to respond?  Listen to yourself!  You are just INFORMING me of a factual reality, that I am COMPLETELY and WHOLE-HEARTEDLY aware of! No one is more aware than me!  I KNOW I have blue eye-liner on or a bow in my hair.  I FREAKING PUT IT THERE!!!!!!  Do you think I somehow missed out on this?????  What type of discussion are seeking to initiate here?  What ABOUT the fact that I am wearing a bow?  Give me something to work off of here: at least a 'your shoes are cool' or 'your shoes are ugly' or 'why are your eyes so blue today?'!  You are contributing absolutely NOTHING to the conversation.  Why is the burden on me to helm this pointless discussion?

I mean, I don't walk up to them and say "You are wearing jeans." or "Got some earrings there."  Why do they feel like it is normal/sane to do it to me???

Each time this happens to me I have to suppress this tremendous urge to be extremely, mockingly sarcastic: "I have a bow in my hair!!!! WHAT???? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!!!  I must have been assaulted by a band of bow-enthusiasts who forced it upon me, and then drugged me to wipe my memory of the attack!!! THANK GOD you were hear to point this out to me!!!!"

But that would be rude.  (Yet so enjoyable.)

Of course the small voice of tolerance inside my head argues that I am just being irrational and over-reacting.  These people are just trying to express something and are really bad at it.  That's not really a viable reason for me to visit such fury and derision upon them.  Especially because a lot of these offenders are often men.  So perhaps there are merely trying to say, "You look nice." or "Your clothes are weird." (Just bloody say it then and put us all out of our misery so we can get on with our lives.  And frankly, I've met many guys who have been perfectly capable of saying "You look nice today" without having to masquerade the statement as "You have boots on."  Rise to the occasion here, gents.)

I guess, I mostly object to (1) being forced into a weird, pointless conversation where the burden is completely on me to be articulate (2) about something that is supposed to really speak for itself.  What is the point in dressing differently (or doing anything visually, behaviorally or artistically different) and expressively if you have to explain every nuance and, more basically, actually explain that you are in fact, intentionally being different?  Am I failing as a non-conventional dresser if I have to answer people's questions about whether or not I am an unconventional dresser?  Am I actually being a non-conventional dresser if I am merely dressing weirdly because I enjoy it, rather than trying to subvert some societal oppression?  Is the burden on me as the "artist" to create meaning for other people instead of making them interpret what they see for themselves for a change?

The other hand Laura, if you are going to subvert dress codes, you're going to have to deal with the consequences of doing so.  One of which is explain to people why you are doing what you are doing.  You can't have it both ways, suck it up and deal with the side effects of a choice you made.

Am I just being crazy?