I found Ben Affleck's Oscars speech on Sunday incredibly inspiring (and in a way I might add, that transcends the fact that I inexplicably and frustratingly got a major crush on him after watching Argo). I can't even count the number of times nearly every day that I convince myself not to try and think: why bother? I'm just going to fail/suck/get made fun of/be told I can't/ fill in whatever discouragement we often tell ourselves.
It's really hard to try. And it is hard to remember that those talented people that we admire and aspire to be like also had/have the same feelings of constant doubt and discouragement, and times when the only people who believed in them were themselves and maybe a few other loved ones. It's hard to remember that most of the time, the most remarkable thing about these people is that they just kept working really hard and they kept believing in themselves and their work and they don't experience failure as just failure and evidence that they don't deserve to do great things in life.
I'm going to make Affleck's words into an inspirational mantra.
(At about 4:00): "You have to work harder than you think you possibly can. You can't hold grudges. It's hard but you can't hold grudges. And it doesn't matter how you get knocked down in life, because it's going to happen. All that matters is you got to get up."
P.S. Sorry the only full video I could find (in the 5 min I was willing to spend searching) was this one where everything is sideways.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Music this week: Last last Month! So much!
In December and January I got a whole bunch of new song/albums but I never got around to sharing them. I want to catch up a bit here. I've already posted about Nashville (the new tv show, not the Altman movie from the 70s) soundtrack and Walk the Moon so even though I got some new songs from them and listened to them a lot, I'll otherwise skip them.
So here it goes! Hope you are ready.
1. 'Dotted Lines' by Sweet Talk Radio
I heard this song on Haven (tv show) and looked up the band. They have some good stuff and remind me a little of Kate Rusby, but maybe a little more indie poprock and less full-on folk. I also am a big fan of Cannonball, Labor of Love, and Broken Things. Got some good lyrics and contemplative vibe.
2. 'Men of Erin' - the Elders
My sister sent me song after hearing a local men's choir perform it. It is an incredibly beautiful song, with a peculiar combination of sadness, inspiration and strength (at least that's what I get out of it). The Elders (an Irish-American band from Missouri by the way) are also a lively band. I especially like Dig Me a Hole and American Wake. (Ok stuff is still a bit sad, but hey the Irish have a lot of less-than-happpy material to work from).
3. 'Electric Daisy Violin' - Lindsey Stirling
This girl dances and plays the violin really well at the same time. It's pretty impressive and the music is super enjoyable. Her covers are also really fun. Check out her cover of Rihanna's We Found Love (sooooo much better than the original) and her Phantom of the Opera medley.
Also she just did a Mission Impossible duet with The Piano Guys, which is pretty cool.
Speaking of The Piano Guys . . .
4. 'What Makes You Beautiful' - The Piano Guys
This video has been making its rounds on the web lately. I was amazed that they could turn such a cookie-cutter pop song into something that ended up sounding really beautiful and uplifting (plus the fact that they were doing this with only one instrument, yeah, that too).
They have a lot of other awesome songs, covers, and mash-ups. One I've been listening to a lot lately is Peponi/Paradise.
And speaking of Paradise . . .
5. 'Life in Technicolor' and 'Princess of China' - Coldplay
For a long time I have been wanting to listen to Coldplay's Viva La Vida. I finally bought it a couple months ago, and I actually really like it. I've been kinda afraid to say this because I know that cool people do not like Coldplay, but in the words of David Tennant: I don't care what anyone says, I like Coldplay.
I really like the entire album quite a bit, but 'Life in Technicolor' just really gets to me.
So since I so enjoyed Viva La Vida, and I'd also heard and liked Paradise, I also bought Mylo Xyloto. I quite like it too. Not as much as Viva La Vida, there are a few songs that are just boring to me. But I enjoy the ones that everyone else likes, especially 'Us Against the World,' 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' (despite the cheesy name) and 'Princess of China' --- which is probably the only Rihanna song I have/ever will like (although why is it called Princess of China? seems a bit colonial).
6. 'All that I am' - Rob Thomas
I bought his album Something to be mostly because I really like 'This is How a Heart Breaks' and I'd heard and been impressed by 'Now Comes the Night.' I didn't become a raving fan of most of the other songs on the album, except 'All that I am' which is mesmerizing.
7. 'Silver Wings' - Garrett Hedlund from Country Strong
Finally, I think all that Nashville music got me back in a country mood. I love singing this in the car.
So here it goes! Hope you are ready.
1. 'Dotted Lines' by Sweet Talk Radio
I heard this song on Haven (tv show) and looked up the band. They have some good stuff and remind me a little of Kate Rusby, but maybe a little more indie poprock and less full-on folk. I also am a big fan of Cannonball, Labor of Love, and Broken Things. Got some good lyrics and contemplative vibe.
2. 'Men of Erin' - the Elders
My sister sent me song after hearing a local men's choir perform it. It is an incredibly beautiful song, with a peculiar combination of sadness, inspiration and strength (at least that's what I get out of it). The Elders (an Irish-American band from Missouri by the way) are also a lively band. I especially like Dig Me a Hole and American Wake. (Ok stuff is still a bit sad, but hey the Irish have a lot of less-than-happpy material to work from).
3. 'Electric Daisy Violin' - Lindsey Stirling
This girl dances and plays the violin really well at the same time. It's pretty impressive and the music is super enjoyable. Her covers are also really fun. Check out her cover of Rihanna's We Found Love (sooooo much better than the original) and her Phantom of the Opera medley.
Also she just did a Mission Impossible duet with The Piano Guys, which is pretty cool.
Speaking of The Piano Guys . . .
4. 'What Makes You Beautiful' - The Piano Guys
This video has been making its rounds on the web lately. I was amazed that they could turn such a cookie-cutter pop song into something that ended up sounding really beautiful and uplifting (plus the fact that they were doing this with only one instrument, yeah, that too).
They have a lot of other awesome songs, covers, and mash-ups. One I've been listening to a lot lately is Peponi/Paradise.
And speaking of Paradise . . .
5. 'Life in Technicolor' and 'Princess of China' - Coldplay
For a long time I have been wanting to listen to Coldplay's Viva La Vida. I finally bought it a couple months ago, and I actually really like it. I've been kinda afraid to say this because I know that cool people do not like Coldplay, but in the words of David Tennant: I don't care what anyone says, I like Coldplay.
I really like the entire album quite a bit, but 'Life in Technicolor' just really gets to me.
So since I so enjoyed Viva La Vida, and I'd also heard and liked Paradise, I also bought Mylo Xyloto. I quite like it too. Not as much as Viva La Vida, there are a few songs that are just boring to me. But I enjoy the ones that everyone else likes, especially 'Us Against the World,' 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' (despite the cheesy name) and 'Princess of China' --- which is probably the only Rihanna song I have/ever will like (although why is it called Princess of China? seems a bit colonial).
6. 'All that I am' - Rob Thomas
I bought his album Something to be mostly because I really like 'This is How a Heart Breaks' and I'd heard and been impressed by 'Now Comes the Night.' I didn't become a raving fan of most of the other songs on the album, except 'All that I am' which is mesmerizing.
7. 'Silver Wings' - Garrett Hedlund from Country Strong
Finally, I think all that Nashville music got me back in a country mood. I love singing this in the car.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Poem: dragon claw
For lent, instead of giving something up, I decided I would try to write for an hour every day. It's ok if I just write a sentence or a couple lines as long as I legitimately tried for an hour.
Well, I've already totally failed at this. It went pretty well (in that I did it, not in the sense that I actually wrote anything good or even coherent) for four days. And then I took a seven day hiatus.
But I'm going to make another stab at it, and today I actually churned out another poem.
I'm still not sure about the third stanza (and maybe the first---and maybe also the fifth), but the third stanza (and the fifth, if I'm bragging) has come a long way in the past 45mins so I'm feeling pretty satisfied with myself for today.
dragon claw
I'll grab the land
furrows and all.
crumple the paper without mercy
or pull the rug out from under them?
it's too bad people won't be in on the fun
when their ugly walls fall backwards.
they'll keep their outstretched arms tucked behind their backs
because there wasn't much love for those walls anyway.
All it takes is a strong shoulder and a webbed elbow
to sweep in a fresh ocean of air.
A shock to their lungs perhaps
but at some point I have to stop waiting.
I'll have to dig the life out from under my nails.
It sounds horrific, but it's really the most natural thing in the world.
I've always wondered what lies beneath the surface.
for some reason I don't have high hopes.
Eventually,
It will be easy to blame me for everything,
just when everyone is feeling lucky with a chance to start again.
I'm no fool.
Well, I've already totally failed at this. It went pretty well (in that I did it, not in the sense that I actually wrote anything good or even coherent) for four days. And then I took a seven day hiatus.
But I'm going to make another stab at it, and today I actually churned out another poem.
I'm still not sure about the third stanza (and maybe the first---and maybe also the fifth), but the third stanza (and the fifth, if I'm bragging) has come a long way in the past 45mins so I'm feeling pretty satisfied with myself for today.
dragon claw
I'll grab the land
furrows and all.
crumple the paper without mercy
or pull the rug out from under them?
it's too bad people won't be in on the fun
when their ugly walls fall backwards.
they'll keep their outstretched arms tucked behind their backs
because there wasn't much love for those walls anyway.
All it takes is a strong shoulder and a webbed elbow
to sweep in a fresh ocean of air.
A shock to their lungs perhaps
but at some point I have to stop waiting.
I'll have to dig the life out from under my nails.
It sounds horrific, but it's really the most natural thing in the world.
I've always wondered what lies beneath the surface.
for some reason I don't have high hopes.
Eventually,
It will be easy to blame me for everything,
just when everyone is feeling lucky with a chance to start again.
I'm no fool.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Progress report: Early February
In early January I think I was working somewhat consciously on these my goals but lost my way a bit after that. I want to get back on track and part of that is taking stock and seeing what I've accomplished over the past several months. I haven't done a progress report since October!
So let's see where I'm at:
1. Sewing: No serious sewing skills acquired yet. My sister bought me some books from Christmas and I thought they looked pretty helpful. But I got overwhelmed pretty quickly. It's always hard when you have to buy a bunch of stuff before you can get started too. I'm biding my time trying to find some time when my mother and I are not getting on each others' nerves too much when I can ask her to help me out.
2&3: New job and habitations: I haven't done much with this. I was/am thinking about moving out before getting a new job. I think having my own space could do a lot for me mental-health-wise and might also encourage me to get a handle of my life and the job search more seriously. A short term lease might also light the fire of finding a new job and new location more seriously. But I am still mulling this over.
I also just got a promotion and pay raise at my job, so I am looking for something really excellent and in-line with my long-term career interests before I leave my current position. Part of goal #2 is making the most of my current job too I think, so I'm trying to think of ways to accomplish admirable and quality things there too.
4. Writing: Not making much progress. I kind of have to get my act together on this if I want to have something by August. I was talking with some friend in early January about writing and they were a bit inspiring. Also I am starting to get over the extreme self-critic in me and am getting more comfortable with just writing something bad or silly. You have to have somewhere to start from before you can go places!
So actually last week I started working on something that I have formulated a little more than usual. The premise and story are pretty ridiculous and romance-novelly but it is something.
But I haven't been working on it that consistently and it is more of a long-form thing. I would like to find something short I can reasonably see myself finishing.
5. Still can't iron.
6. L.A. vacation: I DID THIS! #6 is officially done! At the eleventh hour I decided to go to L.A. for New Years. My parents helped me with the airfare some for Christmas! It was a little chilly in L.A. and I unfortunately got a cold which made me a little miserable for a few days but I also am really really glad and feel really blessed that I got to hang out with some of my favorite friends, although it made me miss them a lot more after I went home!
I got to go see the Rose Parade floats which was a good experience and seeing pretty flowers in winter was actual a little therapeutic! I also went to see a traveling exhibit on Cleopatra and ancient Alexandria which I enjoyed a lot!
And I didn't spend as much money as I had planned!
7 & 8: Photography & Photoshop: no progress
9. Exercising: I have actually made a lot of progress here! A friend of mine and I decided to do this challenge where we had to walk or run at least a mile everyday between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was such a small amount of exercise I felt pathetic if I couldn't do it. So I did! and then I kept going!
I already had the the habit of walking/jogging every evening for about a month so I decided not to stop. I went from walking 1-1.5 miles to walking/jogging 1-1.5 miles to jogging 1.5miles to jogging 2 miles to running 2 miles at a faster pace to now doing 2-3 miles at a faster pace.
I'm now thinking about doing some more dynamic stretch and strengthening exercises, and maybe trying to more consciously lose some weight although I still have my stash of candy for stress-eating that I'm a little unwilling to relinquish.
But if I can keep the jogging up and improve my diet a little, I think I will be able to consider this accomplished!
10, 11, 12: Writing routine, budgeting, improve blog: no progress. I haven't been thinking about this much. I guess this is a good reminder. I'm having trouble thinking of a way to trick myself into a writing routine. I think I have to find something really easy like I did with jogging.
As for improving the blog, I don't think basically abandoning it for 2 months really counts as improvement.
13 & 14: Poems and Music: I just realized the other day that I haven't remember these at all for the past several months!
15. Read: I got British comedian David Mitchell's memoir, Back Story, right before Christmas and I just finished it last week. It was very funny and had some very nice, sentimental parts too.
I have found my copy of Survival of the Prettiest so I'd like to tackle that next. I also have two audio-courses to listen to: one on Alexis de Tocqueville and the other on classic works of fantasy literature. I've made more progress on the second one (8 lectures so far!). I also have actually read a few magazine and newspaper articles.
16. Journal of cool things: I have collected a lot of stuff to put in this to record what I've done over the year but I still haven't put this together or written anything! I really have to plan a weekend to get started on this or it will be too late.
17. Dating: Has not been a issue for me lately. Feeling good about this generally! I think that is progress.
18 & 19. Collaborative project & make a film: This sounds lame, but I pretty much blame winter for this stagnating. Although, I guess this is a good time to brainstorm so that once it warms up I'll have something more real to pursue.
20/21. Newsletter/photo albums: on the back burner still. Still experiencing a little tension with my mother over this so have been encouraging myself to put it off. Maybe if I ever begin to learn photoshop one of my first self-assignments can be to make a silly newsletter about myself.
22. Travel more: Again I think winter has impacted this somewhat, plus I just went to California. But hopefully I'll be going to NYC again soon. (I was going to go this weekend for the Athena Film Festival before the big snow storm!) I still would like to go to Ann Arbor to visit one of my friends. I guess we should start working on a mutually convenient time!
23. Creative organization: Still haven't figured this out. I've had some ideas but nothing much has really worked so far.
24. Hair: This is another big accomplishment! I DID THIS! I was avoiding getting my hair cut because I couldn't decided what to do, but it got to a point where I really really needed it cut. It was getting unmanagable and damaged. So I just made myself make an appointment and with a vague idea of what I wanted I sort of threw myself on the mercy of my hair dresser.
The big decision was to go shorter. I think I finally figured out I still don't want to deal with long hair anymore.
Luckily the hair cut was a HUGE success. I love my new hair cut and it is really easy to manage but I still feel like I can style it a couple of easy ways. Everyone likes it. It goes well with all my winter hats. And I like it! I had a morning off so I actually did it on a Friday morning before work and all but sang with joy as I left the hairdresser and drove to work because I was so pleased with how it turned out!
So in summary: Since October I have accomplished #6 and #24, and possibly #9!
So let's see where I'm at:
1. Sewing: No serious sewing skills acquired yet. My sister bought me some books from Christmas and I thought they looked pretty helpful. But I got overwhelmed pretty quickly. It's always hard when you have to buy a bunch of stuff before you can get started too. I'm biding my time trying to find some time when my mother and I are not getting on each others' nerves too much when I can ask her to help me out.
2&3: New job and habitations: I haven't done much with this. I was/am thinking about moving out before getting a new job. I think having my own space could do a lot for me mental-health-wise and might also encourage me to get a handle of my life and the job search more seriously. A short term lease might also light the fire of finding a new job and new location more seriously. But I am still mulling this over.
I also just got a promotion and pay raise at my job, so I am looking for something really excellent and in-line with my long-term career interests before I leave my current position. Part of goal #2 is making the most of my current job too I think, so I'm trying to think of ways to accomplish admirable and quality things there too.
4. Writing: Not making much progress. I kind of have to get my act together on this if I want to have something by August. I was talking with some friend in early January about writing and they were a bit inspiring. Also I am starting to get over the extreme self-critic in me and am getting more comfortable with just writing something bad or silly. You have to have somewhere to start from before you can go places!
So actually last week I started working on something that I have formulated a little more than usual. The premise and story are pretty ridiculous and romance-novelly but it is something.
But I haven't been working on it that consistently and it is more of a long-form thing. I would like to find something short I can reasonably see myself finishing.
5. Still can't iron.
6. L.A. vacation: I DID THIS! #6 is officially done! At the eleventh hour I decided to go to L.A. for New Years. My parents helped me with the airfare some for Christmas! It was a little chilly in L.A. and I unfortunately got a cold which made me a little miserable for a few days but I also am really really glad and feel really blessed that I got to hang out with some of my favorite friends, although it made me miss them a lot more after I went home!
I got to go see the Rose Parade floats which was a good experience and seeing pretty flowers in winter was actual a little therapeutic! I also went to see a traveling exhibit on Cleopatra and ancient Alexandria which I enjoyed a lot!
And I didn't spend as much money as I had planned!
7 & 8: Photography & Photoshop: no progress
9. Exercising: I have actually made a lot of progress here! A friend of mine and I decided to do this challenge where we had to walk or run at least a mile everyday between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was such a small amount of exercise I felt pathetic if I couldn't do it. So I did! and then I kept going!
I already had the the habit of walking/jogging every evening for about a month so I decided not to stop. I went from walking 1-1.5 miles to walking/jogging 1-1.5 miles to jogging 1.5miles to jogging 2 miles to running 2 miles at a faster pace to now doing 2-3 miles at a faster pace.
I'm now thinking about doing some more dynamic stretch and strengthening exercises, and maybe trying to more consciously lose some weight although I still have my stash of candy for stress-eating that I'm a little unwilling to relinquish.
But if I can keep the jogging up and improve my diet a little, I think I will be able to consider this accomplished!
10, 11, 12: Writing routine, budgeting, improve blog: no progress. I haven't been thinking about this much. I guess this is a good reminder. I'm having trouble thinking of a way to trick myself into a writing routine. I think I have to find something really easy like I did with jogging.
As for improving the blog, I don't think basically abandoning it for 2 months really counts as improvement.
13 & 14: Poems and Music: I just realized the other day that I haven't remember these at all for the past several months!
15. Read: I got British comedian David Mitchell's memoir, Back Story, right before Christmas and I just finished it last week. It was very funny and had some very nice, sentimental parts too.
I have found my copy of Survival of the Prettiest so I'd like to tackle that next. I also have two audio-courses to listen to: one on Alexis de Tocqueville and the other on classic works of fantasy literature. I've made more progress on the second one (8 lectures so far!). I also have actually read a few magazine and newspaper articles.
16. Journal of cool things: I have collected a lot of stuff to put in this to record what I've done over the year but I still haven't put this together or written anything! I really have to plan a weekend to get started on this or it will be too late.
17. Dating: Has not been a issue for me lately. Feeling good about this generally! I think that is progress.
18 & 19. Collaborative project & make a film: This sounds lame, but I pretty much blame winter for this stagnating. Although, I guess this is a good time to brainstorm so that once it warms up I'll have something more real to pursue.
20/21. Newsletter/photo albums: on the back burner still. Still experiencing a little tension with my mother over this so have been encouraging myself to put it off. Maybe if I ever begin to learn photoshop one of my first self-assignments can be to make a silly newsletter about myself.
22. Travel more: Again I think winter has impacted this somewhat, plus I just went to California. But hopefully I'll be going to NYC again soon. (I was going to go this weekend for the Athena Film Festival before the big snow storm!) I still would like to go to Ann Arbor to visit one of my friends. I guess we should start working on a mutually convenient time!
23. Creative organization: Still haven't figured this out. I've had some ideas but nothing much has really worked so far.
24. Hair: This is another big accomplishment! I DID THIS! I was avoiding getting my hair cut because I couldn't decided what to do, but it got to a point where I really really needed it cut. It was getting unmanagable and damaged. So I just made myself make an appointment and with a vague idea of what I wanted I sort of threw myself on the mercy of my hair dresser.
The big decision was to go shorter. I think I finally figured out I still don't want to deal with long hair anymore.
Luckily the hair cut was a HUGE success. I love my new hair cut and it is really easy to manage but I still feel like I can style it a couple of easy ways. Everyone likes it. It goes well with all my winter hats. And I like it! I had a morning off so I actually did it on a Friday morning before work and all but sang with joy as I left the hairdresser and drove to work because I was so pleased with how it turned out!
So in summary: Since October I have accomplished #6 and #24, and possibly #9!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Music this week: Nashivlle and electric alterna-pop???
Since the last music post (October!) I have got a lot of new tunes! A lot are songs or artist I've heard on tv shows and remembered to look up. Tunefinder is pretty great!
1. 'Bones' - MS MR
This group has a little of what I love about Florence + the Machine. The drums, the powerful female vocal, mystery . . .
2. 'Sleepsong' - Bastille
I read about this artist in Nylon and decided to check him out. Then I fell in love with this song. Bad Blood is also pretty great.
3. 'One Works Better' & 'Sideshow' - Nashville (tv series)
Beside liking this show a lot, I really love Nashville for giving us some great tunes! I tend to like the songs by Scarlet and Gunner the most. I really like 'One Works Better' in particular because it is a nice change from their more subdued, quiet love/heart-break songs.
I also love Deacon and his star-crossed-lover problems. 'Sideshow' is the prefect country song for him, and gotta love listening to Charles Esten's voice.
4. 'The Devil Don't Mind' - David J Roch
David J Roch's music is a little weird. But I think I like it. And I definitely have fun howling along to this song on my drive home from a soul-deadening day of work. Skin & Bones is the first of his songs I heard (I haven't watched the video so can't speak to it).
1. 'Bones' - MS MR
This group has a little of what I love about Florence + the Machine. The drums, the powerful female vocal, mystery . . .
2. 'Sleepsong' - Bastille
I read about this artist in Nylon and decided to check him out. Then I fell in love with this song. Bad Blood is also pretty great.
3. 'One Works Better' & 'Sideshow' - Nashville (tv series)
Beside liking this show a lot, I really love Nashville for giving us some great tunes! I tend to like the songs by Scarlet and Gunner the most. I really like 'One Works Better' in particular because it is a nice change from their more subdued, quiet love/heart-break songs.
I also love Deacon and his star-crossed-lover problems. 'Sideshow' is the prefect country song for him, and gotta love listening to Charles Esten's voice.
4. 'The Devil Don't Mind' - David J Roch
David J Roch's music is a little weird. But I think I like it. And I definitely have fun howling along to this song on my drive home from a soul-deadening day of work. Skin & Bones is the first of his songs I heard (I haven't watched the video so can't speak to it).
Friday, February 1, 2013
Come on Get Crafty: Small Square Magnet 3
Here is the third magnet that I made! I want to make four, so only one more to go!
I often tell myself that less is more. I orignially didn't have the triangles at the bottom or the leaf border or the two lines one the bottom of the big central flower shape. I really liked the simple geometry. But I was worried that if I didn't add more it wouldn't match the other two magnets I had already doodled, so I added more. I think that the border works well, but I'm not too sure I really needed to add everything that I added.
I often tell myself that less is more. I orignially didn't have the triangles at the bottom or the leaf border or the two lines one the bottom of the big central flower shape. I really liked the simple geometry. But I was worried that if I didn't add more it wouldn't match the other two magnets I had already doodled, so I added more. I think that the border works well, but I'm not too sure I really needed to add everything that I added.
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