Thursday, August 23, 2012

24 Things Before 25

A few of the bloggers I've been following announce a list of goals they have for the year after their birthday.  I really think this is a great idea as it gets you to really think about what you want for yourself out of the year, personally, professionally, anything.  I've been a little nervous about committing myself to these things, but decided to toughen up and get to it already!

1.  Learn some sewing.

This is a skill.  Having it can save you money and make your clothes last longer.  I'd like to learn some actual stitches and when it is best to use them.  I'd like to learn how to "take things in (out)" and to hem pants and skirts, and do basic repairs.

2.  Get a better job (biggest, scariest goal)

This is pretty self-explanatory.  I'm not terribly thrilled about my job in terms of where it can take me and what I can learn.  I'd like to find somewhere that is more of a stepping stone to what I want to be doing ten years from now.

3.  Move out

Goes with #2 in being big and scary.  I'd really like to have my own place.  Being at home has its financial and locational benefits, but I really need to establish myself on my own, have my own space, and stop clinging to what is familiar.

4.  Actually write something.  By which I mean, actually finish a work of narrative writing or memoir.  By which I mean, actually finish a draft, do revisions, get notes, do more revisions, and then finish it.

I fancy myself a writer or aspiring writer, but I never bloody write anything.  I've got loads of ideas, but I never finish anything.  I am constantly starting new things.  This is not because I am some sort of prolific creative genius, this is because I am lazy,  writing is bloody difficult, and writing freaks me out because I overreact and end up psychoanyalzing myself and questioning my worthiness.

5.  Learn to iron.

Embarrassed to say, still have never done this, so goal = self-explanatory.  In my defense, do have many strategies for never wrinkling anything.  This is probably my easiest goal to achieve.  So if I don't accomplish at least 1 on this list, it will truly be pathetic.

6.  Go to California for vacation.

I have many friends in California who I would like to visit.  I would really love to spend a long holiday in California seeing these people.  I can make this work if I start planning early, save up some money (stop spending it on silly things) and make this a priority.

7.  Improve photography skills.

Most of the minimal photography knowledge I have has been forgotten.  I want to get a better grip of the technical aspect of photography and creating images.

8.  Learn Photoshop and/or InDesign. or similar.

I'd like to get down some of these basic software skills to make myself more marketable and to produce more stuff for work, myself, family, whatever.

9.  Establish an exercise routine, preferably attend a class.

I need to get back in shape, if only for self-image and mental health reasons.  After junior year of college, my exercising habits just completely fell off the face of the earth for various reasons.  But I'd like to have stronger muscles like I used to, improve my lung capacity, work off some stress, and just feel healthier.

I am also afraid of  gyms, because I have never been a part of one and don't know the etiquette, so it would be nice to conquer some of those irrational fears by at least attending a class. But I won't make that a requirement for accomplishing this goal.

10.  Establish a writing routine.

In keeping with the routine-establishing theme, I would also like to discover a writing routine that works for me.  Most writers have writing habits that help them stay on track and function.  "Write every day" is the common mantra, and I'd like to figure out a way to make that work for me.  I already know a few things about my writing habits: driving helps me open up my mind, nature inspires me, looking at images helps me write, I get very creative late at night, I get blocked around my family, I usually do brainstorming, planning and short excerpts by hand and then move to the laptop, I like to write in bed.  I can put all these things together to establish some habits.

11.  Get better at budgeting.

Financial management has started to interest me.  I'd like to get better at running a personal budget and a business budget, and learn more business and marketing strategy.

12.  Improve my blog.

I should get a better structure going, decide where I see this going, improve its design, and plan out content more.

13.  Complete a collection of poems.  Get at least one of them published.

When I do write, I often end up writing poems.  They are a good way of expressing myself.  I'd like to actually put together a collection (15-20 poems).  This means looking for themes, studying form more, getting notes from people who know about poetry (whoever they are) and probably writing a good 30-40 poems in order to seek out the really good ones.  (I think I have about 10 solid poems so far.)

I'd like to publish one 1) to prove to myself that my poems are good and 2) to prove to myself that poetry is not completely irrelevant, because I'm not entirely convinced.

14. Play more music.

I have barely touched the piano for the past two years.  But it was something I enjoyed.  There was a point in my life when I really wanted to learn more music theory, understand music construction, and wanted to practice more seriously.  People discouraged me, and now I usually don't because I'm afraid of people making fun of how badly I am at it, or getting annoyed at me practicing, but those are terrible reasons to hold myself back from doing something I want to do.

15.  Read more.

I've taken to just watching lots of tv shows online during my spare time, but that means I'm missing out on lots of reading, great stories, and great literary forms.  I would like to read more books, articles, and poetry and expand my horizons.  (I reserve the right to count audio books towards this goal.)

16. Maintain a journal of the things I do in my life.

I haven't ever kept a journal of the things I've done like vacations, events, parties, meaningful experiences or encounters.  I keep a lot of trinkets and mementos, but now looking back everything is a bit of a muddle.  I often can't remember what year or how old I was when things happen or the details of an experience.  I plan to start a journal or scrap book when I collect all those things and write down everything I remember.  I've started already, but already fallen behind.  I've only finished covering everything that happened in June.  There are many things from July and August I need to record!

17.  Go on a date without drama (real or imaginary). Generally, freak out about romance much much less.

I was debating whether to air this goal or not, but decided, what the hell.  Also, if I don't fess up to making this a goal, I will definitely NOT do anything about it.  But, wow, I really suck at romance.  I tend to flee.  I've come to the conclusion that: I am still afraid of boys.  I make friends with guys just as easily as the next person, and enjoying having passing crushes just as much as the next person, but once things start to look like it might GET REAL, I can seriously FLIP OUT.

If I don't like someone who is making advances,  I get really REALLY angry at them if they don't back off, like, RIGHT AWAY.  I get offended at the assumptions I assume they are making about me.  I pray that they will drop off the face of the earth and that I will never EVER have to see them again.  Plus, generally, I think being presumptuous is one of the worst things someone can do (yes, I know, that it ridiculous of me) so I can seriously become a fiery, tower of rage if I think someone is forcing their company upon me after I have given back-off signals.

People I do like, I automatically assume would 1) never go out with me and have much cooler, prettier, whatever-ier girls to go out with, 2) have probably never noticed me and 3) if they have noticed me, have done so with the thought: "Wow, that girl is really weird (bad weird)/gross/a complete mess/uptight/obnoxious etc. etc."

And people who ask me out who I maybe like, I get stuck in an ethical dilemma:  If I say yes, am I just saying yes to appease my loneliness/stop people from judging me for being single/because I'm bored?  Wouldn't I therefore be using this poor sod (which is wrong) and leading him on (which can lead to bad, bad things) and not really "giving him a chance"?  If I say yes, because I think I like him, do I like him enough to commit myself to a higher level of emotional attachment than I am used to--- only for him to discover that he hates me or has insane expectations of me that I'm SO not comfortable with?  Am I prepared to deal with the new level of judging/nagging/nose-poking from the other people in my life, especially from those whose judgement I value/scorn? Usually, it is easier to say no, and so I do.

And through all of this I conduct myself by being insane/ditsy/passive aggressive . . . a freakish not-me.

Anyways, sorry to be lengthy and Bridget-Jones about all of this, but it is kind of a big hang up for me, that I need to GET OVER.  Because seriously,  EVERYONE feels like this.  (Well, that's what I'm telling myself. Hope it's true.)

18.  Work collaboratively on a creative project with a friend.

I really like collaborating and getting creative with other creative people.  It is an incredible experience creating something together and helping to make an artistic vision come alive for someone.  I'd really like to work with one of my many talented friends.

19. Make a film of some sort.

I'm a filmmaker.  I should probably make a film.  It can be short, it can be avant-garde, it can be a low-budget video blog.  But it must involve some sort of forethought/planning and some sort of post-production.  It also must not be terrible (by my standards at least).

20. Design and publish a family newsletter.

I have a giant family (probably approaching 100 people, if not pushing it).  It is really hard to keep track of what is happening in everyone's life outside of the big things (life & death matters, and perhaps marriages).  But people are always doing interesting things: producing art, getting new jobs or promotions, working on innovative projects, achieving things in school, moving, traveling.  It would be great to keep people more up-to-date.

21. Create some photo albums for myself, and the family.

With digital photos, I don't have physical copies of most of my favorite photos.  I'd like to start printing my photos and making albums that I can look at when I don't want the computer on.  My parents also have tons of photos (developed and digital) that are completely unorganized. I'd like to make them some albums so they can look back on memories and fun times with greater ease.

22. Travel more.

I've found out this summer, I really like to road-trip and travel, even just for weekend or 3/4-day trips.  I'd like to plan more excursions to visit friends and family, and see the sights that are reachable by 1-6hr drives.  I'd like to see the more local sites and those father away.  If I can I'd like to make it Ann Arbor and Boston.  Maybe even Canada.

23.  Establish an organizational system for my creative ideas.

While I'm creating a writing routine, I need to figure out a way to organize my ideas.  I have ideas for stories, poems, larger things like movies or tv shows, cards, blog posts etc.  But my ideas, when I remember to write them down, are all over the place, on bits of paper, notepads, computer files, various journals, inside books that I've jotted on.  I need a way to streamline things and get things together.

24.  Decide/learn wtf to do with my hair (and face).

Two years ago I decided to cut my hair short.  But I still haven't settled on a cut or style I'm completely happy with, although I do like having it short.  I also need to face up to the face that with short hair, it's probably going to require at least a little bit of styling on my part, especially if I want something with a bit of attitude (which I do).  So despite being lazy and loving a roll-out-of-bed technique, I need to learn some basics of hair styling.  And I should probably learn more about doing my make-up, by which I mean, come to some sort of understanding with things like eye shadow, lip liner, and bronzer (what is it for? is is the new blush? what is happening?).

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Bonus goal:
25.  Have a wardrobe clean-out.

I tried to do this to some degree this summer, and I got rid of a decent amount of stuff, but I was still not very strict about it.  Now that I'm an adult (i.e. going to a job every day) I need to reevaluate my clothes and decided what is really realistic to keep.  I definitely have stuff that doesn't fit me anymore and stuff (and jewelry) that I should get around to repairing.

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All of this is happening in conjunction with my New Year's Resolution:
Do more stuff that I want to do.  Say yes to things.

2 comments:

  1. Ok, so apparently I didn’t read your title and I was reading along and thinking of helpful tips. I got to about the 11th one and thought, good god how many are there!!

    Anyway the helpful tips (while I try to keep an eye on my guinea pig who’s having an adventure on the dining room floor and trying to sample the furniture):

    1) See if you can find a good intro class. I thought about this and discovered a few fabric stores in my area that offered a range of classes from beginner to expert and others focusing on various specific skills etc. I’ve watched enough project runway to realize I kneed to know a bit more about fabrics, patterns, etc. before running things through a sewing machine.

    2) Sounds good, hope the b-day presents help :p

    3) Also sounds good.

    4) Feel free to bounce ideas off me. (PS: had this idea for a documentary about speed limits . . . I’ve spared you so far, but I might get around to writing a letter about it . . . trying not to sound like mom).

    5) Should take 10 minutes. I think mom showed me once and I was good to go.

    6) Ian’s mom would love to put you up for a week or two if you’re heading to the LA area. You’d probably have to do some activities, but you’re probably more amenable to that than I generally am.

    7) Sounds cool. I should get a new camera myself. The one I have is 8+ years old and it was cheap when it was new. Let me know if you research a decent but reasonably priced option.

    8) Sounds like a good idea. Any interest in basic computer graphics by any chance? I only ask because Jesse is helping a friend develop an Iphone app but they don’t know anyone who can do the graphics. Didn’t think its something can do/you’d be interested in, but might be a valuable skill set if you were so inclined.

    9) I have yet to manage this, despite 10+ attempts

    10) Sounds like a good idea. Eventually I’ll have to do the same to write my dissertation .. . but hopefully I can just steal yours. 

    11) Sounds good.

    12) Interested in guest posts? (Sorta kidding, but occasionally I get ideas that I have no way of sharing . . . consider my analysis of John Carter and NBC.)

    13) Neat!

    14) We just bought a guitar and I went back and bought the Hanon finger exercise book since my piano technique has gotten so bad. If you take up singing again let me know. It would be fun to have someone to “collaborate” and perform with.

    15) Let me know if you find anything interesting.

    16) This is also something I’ve failed to do, despite several attempts.

    17) Have you ever heard how long it took me to actually talk to Ian? Let me tell you some time but it involved sneaking around the Noyes dining hall for weeks trying to be seen but not seen at the same time.

    18) I’m probably not on your creative people list, but see 4 and 12

    19) Lol, see 12. But seriously, let me know if you need any help. Saw a flyer for extras for someone’s masters project in our laundry room and thought of you.

    20) I’m game. I wanted to use the facebook grop to collect just this sort of stuff, but convinced myself that no one would actually participate.

    21) Neat!

    22) I’m game!

    23) sounds good

    24) Short like me?! I’ll never go back! Curse dad’s hair!!!!!

    25) Sounds good.

    Good luck and keep me posted!!

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  2. Come to A2!!! We could try to arrange a time when there's some awesome dance troupe, musician, etc in town (which is almost always since A2, despite being a giant college town, is quite the hub for music and art). We have an art museum, free! A pretty awesome Arb, Botanical Garden...and me :) Keep me posted on your photo adventures, too! By the way your little book of poems lives on my nightstand. I'd like to show it to my med school friend who's been working on this epic novel (literally of the epic genre like LOTR big) since she's been 14. It's taking her time to really like ever aspect of it, and always having me read drafts. Don't be discouraged, and know you can bounce drafts off me! Also, Detroit's not dead and quite a fun place to visit. There's this block where people just make public art, and really awesome buildings with wicked architecture, and this one cafe HIGHLY recommended by a friend. I'm excited for your goals! I hate NYE resolutions so I made a giant 'bucket list' and made it public on my blog (it's a tab/page of its own). I actually tackled a number of things on it just over the summer, so writing it down definitely motivated me! And not restricting my goals to a particular time frame helped me, but to each his/her own way! I'm cheering for you!

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